Inane ramblings which escaped my mind

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NZ

Imma excitedly countdown to the day I fly off to the land of the kiwi’s….Dumping all the research worries and cares behind.

Bye bye Malaysia! Bye bye Dr. Maha! Miss you all in the lab… so all of you no need to miss me! šŸ˜›

ps: I wonder if my postcard will reach Malaysia before or after me


Finding the Words

Upon entering Xiao En Centre, the receptionist greeted me and informed me that the deceased is in Hall 7. It seems like my embarrassing attempted to attend a non-existent funeral yesterday was well-remembered.

I pushed open the glass door leading to the “function” halls and started to look for the indicated hall. The eerie silence of death reminded me of the silence felt at the Killing Fields of Cambodia. I really don’t like the feeling.

I found the hall and the guy (presumably the son) sitting at the table asked, “Wong Sau Lin?”

So, I am at the correct place. I told him I am here on behalf of my aunt in Singapore and would like to hand over the pek kim (condolence money). After writing down the names and amount given, I cracked my brains for something to say and the only thing I manage to blurt out was, “My condolences”.

I refused the offer to view the deceased, offered my condolences once again and got myself out of there. I really don’t know what else to say to a person whose mother passed away for I know if it were to be my mom (choi choi choi), the grief would be something that cannot be expressed through words.


Post-CNY

Chinese New Year holidays are over… I have been back in the lab for 2 days and already I am homesick.

There is a lethargic feel. An unwillingness to do anything. As if by starting to plan for an experiment means the end of the Chinese New Year holidays.

It’s end symbolizes how long my Masters have been and the need for me to hurry up…


Rejuvenation

IĀ Ā  think the project is now wearing on me. I really need some peace and quiet. Or maybe just a couple of days with nothing better to do but sleep.
Crowded

Just the thought of leaving my room to join the world makes me feel depressed. A certain period of isolation is needed for me to regain my strength to continue this fight we call education and research.

Now I eagerly countdown the days till I can go back home to my family. I cannot wait for Chinese New Year where I can sleep in all I want….Unless Jasper decides to wake me up early in the morning. Can someone please pass me the Ritalin? Or even better the Chloroform.


Cameron

Just before the end of last year, my family and I went for a little family trip to Cameron. Something to get us away from the hot and humid air of the lowlands to the fresh cooling breeze of the highlands. Plus, Mom is missing all her little chickies šŸ˜›

We lodge at this place called the OMF bungalow. I am not sure what an English cottage suppose to look like but I love the place.

Peace

The garden is filled with flowers. Mainly roses and orchid though. They look wonderful specially after the rain (I think I spent most of my time taking flower pictures).

Rain drops

Guttation

IMG_8591

We were greeted with cold scones and strawberry jam upon arrival. (well the scones were suppose to be hot but we were late to check in).

IMG_8532

Although, I rather spend my time in the bungalow lazing around, I decided to go out with my family. We did the typical thing that everyone does in Cameron. Go to the tea plantation. I love the lush green scenery there. Looking at the quiet serenity of the plantations gives me a sense of peace.

ponder

Other than the bungalow and the tea plantation, I don’t think Id’ like Cameron that much. I definitely can do without the traffic jams and the human crowd. Anndd… its disappointing to see scenes such as this:

IMG_8519


Kiev 4

YEAY!! My new toy is here! After a few minor glitches and scares, it is finally here. Happiness….

It seems rather complicated to use. Maybe in time I’ll learn how to use it properly but I suspect it’ll be a rather expensive lesson.


HooiSin

Just came back from Neway with HooiSin and everyone else. It just occured to me that soon my house with be one person short. HooiSin will be moving to Semenyih due to the increased workload as a PhD student in Nottingham University.

I’m going to miss her and her upbeat personality. Although sometimes her naiveness and ignorance gets on my nerves, making me want to knock her on her head. No more people to complain to… (at least AiLi is still around). But all and all, HooiSin is a gentle and kindhearted soul.

Having her around, not only reduces my emotional stress but also my financial stresses. We get to divide the bills four ways instead a three… kekeke…

Well, on the plus side, at least I dont need to wake up to find her using the toilet for ages.


Pent-Up

I asked Siew Fern once, why does she cut herself. She replied

It feels better to hurt physically. Then perhaps I’ll be able to forget that I am hurting emotionally.

At that time, I thought she was just screwy and stupid. Now, I think what she said make sense. If I can just manage to make myself feel pain, then perhaps I won’t feel so hurt.

Azzeme suggest that crying helps in releasing all negative emotions. And for the past 30 minutes or so, I have tried to cry. My heart gets heavier and heavier but still no tears. I wonder why do I cry so easily while reading a book or watching a movie. Yet, I cannot cry over something so hurtful.

I give up. I’ll just stare at the comic books to get over my insomnia.


Peace

Silver grey
At it I stare
Sharp but not lethal
I wonder…

Maybe I shall
See red drops fall
From a small nick
Not thin, not thick

From droplets to river
Down it will flow
Slowly, calmly
Ecstacy at last

Greying vision
Gently growing dark
Bid the world adieu
At peace at last


Mind Set

Recently I found out that King Chai, who is doing political science in UKM will soon be on trial in UKM under University Colleges Act of 1971 as he was “found” to be guilty of being involved in political activities. (The article can be read here)

He was actually on his way to observe the Hulu Selangor (P64) by-elections and was hitching a ride from the PKR people. I am not sure how smart is that but hey, it was just hitching a ride. Too bad for him and 3 of his friends, they were stopped by the police and the cars were found to have contained fliers related to PKR.

Thus, in the minds of our brilliant law enforcers, they are guilty. Thank goodness, there were insubstantial evidence that they are involved and was set free after 9 hours in the police station but the university authorities is instructed to take action.

Knowing our local education system’s hobby is persecuting innocence. I doubt he will be let go easily even if there is media pressure. The worst is that he will be expelled.

After hearing all this, I am unsure how to react. I feel that the students were dumb to get a ride from PKR. Then again, I feel that everyone has the freedom to move around and have their own point of view. It’s disappointing to know that this is how Malaysia treats people with a point of view that is opposing to them.